


The next right thing

by Ailendolin



Category: The Dragon Prince (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, Gen, Gren needs a hug, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Introspection, Maybe - Freeform, Season/Series 03 Spoilers, Self-Sacrifice, Spoilers, Unrequited Love, hurt!Gren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-25
Updated: 2019-11-25
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:54:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21563296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ailendolin/pseuds/Ailendolin
Summary: Spoilers for all of season 3, especially episode 1 and the finale!In front of him the Sunfire Elf reached out her hand and Amaya took it, grinning more brightly than Gren had ever seen her. He watched as they shared a smile full of happiness and his heart, barely held together after the ordeal of the last few days, broke into a thousand pieces right then and there without ever making a sound.Gren finds Amaya again - only to lose her anyway.
Relationships: Amaya & Gren (The Dragon Prince), Amaya & Janai (The Dragon Prince), Amaya/Gren (The Dragon Prince), Amaya/Janai (The Dragon Prince), Corvus & Gren (The Dragon Prince)
Comments: 23
Kudos: 114





	The next right thing

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again! Who'd have thought I'd be back so soon after finishing my other Gremaya fic? Certainly not me. But season 3 had me itching to write some angsty Gremaya and this is the result. 
> 
> If you haven't seen season 3 yet, this is your last chance to turn around ;)
> 
> The title as well as the song lyrics used at the beginning and end of the story are from Frozen 2's "The next right thing". I don't know, I just think that song would fit Gren really well.
> 
> Also, still not a native speaker, so please excuse any mistakes you're going to find (and don't hesitate pointing them out to me so I can change them). 
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own The Dragon Prince and I'm not making any money with this story.

**The next right thing**

  
_I follow you around, I always have_  
_But you've gone to a place I cannot find_  
_This grief has a gravity, it pulls me down_  
_But a tiny voice whispers in my mind_  
  


It was over. Gren could hardly believe it. When he had decided to go to Xadia with Queen Aanya, her forces and the few people from Katolis still loyal to King Ezran he expected to die in battle. One kingdom and some extra soldiers couldn’t possibly stand a chance against Viren’s four-kingdom-army and the Dark Magic he wielded like a powerful sword. Gren had seen up close and personal what Viren was capable of doing and he’d had no doubts that Queen Aanya was leading her army towards certain death.

He had told her as much on the morning before they departed.

“Then why are you coming with us if you don’t believe in victory?” Queen Aanya had asked him, tilting her head curiously to one side.

Gren didn’t have the energy to smile and pretend. “Because I have nothing left to lose.”

He tried not to think about that moment – that awful moment when his whole world went up in flames and molten rock and burned, burned, _burned_ , but when he closed his eyes all he saw was red and white-hot heat swallowing the one person who was most precious to him. That one fateful second was burned into his mind for all eternity. Amaya had been there, right in front of him, and then she just … wasn’t.

Gren hated himself for not reacting faster, for not stopping her when it became clear what she was about to do. It should have been him riding into danger. It should have been him sacrificing himself, protecting her. He was the one who was expendable, the one who didn’t have a family to come home to – because his family had been right there with him and instead of doing something to keep her safe he’d stood there like a fool and let her go. Now Amaya’s eyes, so kind and gentle and full of love and regret in that one last moment they’d shared, haunted him day and night. He couldn’t sleep, he couldn’t eat and whenever anyone brought up her name his throat constricted and he stopped breathing for a second.

There was an emptiness inside him now that hadn’t been there before, and it was filled with grief and loss and a horrible pain that cut deeper than any knife ever could. He felt cold and hollow, as if he’d lost a part of himself.

And he had. His heart had died along with Amaya at the Breach. Gren had felt it breaking when the lava flow made its way down the mountain and buried the place where she’d been standing beneath a molten river of white-hot anguish. There was nothing he could have done to help her then, and there was nothing he could do now to help himself, to put the pieces of his heart, of his _life_ , back together again. The largest part, the most important and dearest part of him, was not there anymore. There was no going back, no magical cure, no surprise rescue to make it all right. This was the end of the line and somehow Gren was the last one standing and Amaya was not.

It wasn’t supposed to end like this, yet a part of Gren had always feared it would because this wasn’t the first time he thought he’d lost her. Amaya had been captured by the enemy once, years ago, and the three days of tense negotiations that followed had been the longest of Gren’s life. By the time they came to an agreement and exchanged her for three prisoners of their own he didn’t know where up or down was anymore, or left and right and North and South. Even his relief was short-lived because the instant he knew she was safe the stress and worry of those three days caught up with him, and they left him trembling and shaking in his tent and gasping for breath. Somehow, Amaya had known and come to him that night. Gren still remembered how gentle she had been when she wrapped her arms around him, how warm her hand had felt where it stroked his back in soothing circles while he cried into her shoulder, overwhelmed and exhausted and terribly tired. He’d been so grateful for her touch back then and her reassurance he so desperately needed in that moment and she so freely offered.

That was one of those things about Amaya he’d always liked the most: how easy it was for her to show her affection through touch. She might not have a voice, but her hands were just as expressive if not more so. They offered comfort in the form of a solid squeeze of his shoulder after a long day, and more than once she made him smile by ruffling his hair in the morning to mess it up further. Then there were the careful bumps with her shoulder that were meant to make sure he was all right, and Gren’s personal favorite: her loving hugs full of happiness and joy that spoke of her feelings more than any words ever could.

There would be no more hugs now. He would never feel her arms around him again, never watch her fingers trail across his skin in search of injuries after a battle, never see her smile light up her eyes in happiness. Amaya was gone and that was exactly why Gren was going with Queen Aanya to Xadia. He’d already lost everything meaningful in his life. The world had nothing left to offer him. He would gladly face any battle if it only meant the aching loss he now felt in his heart would stop tearing him apart with every beat. 

When Queen Aanya rode ahead and fired that first arrow in Xadia Gren expected to die in a matter of hours if he was lucky, or minutes if he was not. They were hopelessly outnumbered by Viren’s army and didn’t stand a chance – or so he had thought. He hadn’t expected to see an army of Sunfire Elves fighting side by side with them, and dragons soaring overhead. It was a sight to behold, brilliant and heart-stopping – a vision of a future he’d never thought but always secretly hoped would come to pass in his lifetime.

But witnessing Elves and humans and dragons fighting together was nothing compared to what he felt when he caught a glimpse of familiar armor on the battlefield below. He froze mid-motion, shocked into stillness, while his heart came alive in a thunderous staccato rhythm. He held his breath and for several painful heartbeats all he could do was stare, unable to believe his eyes.

That moment of surprise would have cost him his life if it hadn’t been for Corvus watching his back.

“What is wrong with you? Snap out of it!” Corvus growled, wrenching his sword out of the now dead body lying at his feet between them.

Gren blinked but he couldn’t pull his eyes away from the distant battleground. Corvus frowned at him and turned to see what he was looking at. He gasped. “Is that …?”

Gren nodded, scarcely believing his eyes. “I-I think so,” he stuttered.

The rest of the battle was a blur. Gren tried to stay as close to Corvus as he could but his eyes were always drawn to that silver glint in the distance, hoping and praying it wouldn’t fall beneath the onslaught of Viren’s army. Whenever he lost sight of her his heart fell, breaking all over again only to stitch itself back together in relief every time Amaya got back on her feet. It was torture.

By the time the battle was over Gren was physically and emotionally exhausted. Everything ached both inside and out. He wasn’t hurt, not physically, but so many others around him were. The wounded needed to be taken care of, and the dead as well, yet all Gren could think about was that painfully familiar armor and the person it belonged to. There was this longing inside of him, pulling at him and urging him to turn away from the aftermath, to run and see if it was really her. Gren felt awful for wanting to leave, for being selfish.

A heavy hand settled on his shoulder, startling him.

“Go,” Corvus said. His eyes were full of understanding.

Gren shook his head. “I can help,” he argued even though everything in him screamed for him to move and find Amaya.

Corvus smiled. “Then help yourself. Help her. She needs you.”

He grabbed Gren’s shoulders and turned him around, and when Gren caught sight of Amaya just a short distance away his feet began to move on their own before he could think about it. He took a step towards her, then another and another one until he was running. Soldiers, elves and dragons passed by him in a blur but Gren paid them no mind. All he could focus on was Amaya, beautiful and radiant and so alive it hurt, and suddenly there she was, right in front of him, holding out her arms and welcoming him home. He ran into them without shame, burying his face in her shoulder for one short, precious moment. Tears filled his eyes as he felt her hold him, the clinks of their armor an old familiar song that made him swallow hard against the emotions threatening to overwhelm him.

Their embrace didn’t last nearly long enough. Gren wasn’t ready when she pulled back. He wanted to stay in her arms forever and never let her go again. He wanted to twirl her around like she had done with him the last time they had seen each other and shout his relief to the whole world, letting everyone know – letting _her_ know – how much he had missed her. But she was already moving back and reality righted itself. They were not just Amaya and Gren here. There was an army looking at them for guidance, looking at Amaya for orders and to lead them as their commander and for that she needed her Voice. Corvus had been right: Amaya needed him – only not in the same way Gren was needing her.

He took a shaky breath and wiped his hand across his eyes, brushing away the tears in an attempt to regain his composure so he could do his job. Amaya’s concerned gaze, the way her touch lingered on his arm, was almost too much. Gren felt his emotions well up again and if King Ezran hadn’t spoken up in that moment Gren knew he wouldn’t have been able to stop the tears a second time.

After that it was almost easy to fall back into his old familiar role of watching Amaya and giving voice to her words. It was something he thought he’d never get to do again and it felt marvelous to speak for her once more. He followed her around the battlefield, relaying orders and offering comfort to wounded soldiers, humans and elves alike, when it was needed. Amaya’s newfound respect for the Sunfire Elves and her familiarity with their leader surprised him and he wanted to ask her what had happened after the explosion at the Breach to change her so but something stopped him. Maybe it was the way Amaya’s eyes followed the elven leader across the battlefield as she reorganized her soldiers to search for Lord Viren, or the way she kept looking over her shoulder to make sure the elf was still there, still in one piece.

Amaya’s behavior was painfully familiar, like looking in a mirror, and Gren didn’t like what he saw. He didn’t want to think about what it all might mean, what might have happened since he’d thought her dead, so he kept his mouth shut and his hands firmly tucked away behind his back, trailing after her and willing his heart to mend itself instead of fracturing a little more with each far-away glance across the battlefield Amaya couldn’t help.

The day stretched on and Gren was glad when the gruesome duty of helping the wounded and burying the dead was finally over. When the leaders decided to meet up on the mountain to talk he automatically followed Amaya to the Sunfire Elf’s mount only to be stopped by her hands.

 _Go with Ezran_ , she signed before swinging herself up onto the mount behind the elf.

Gren watched her go, feeling cold and alone. He tried to tell himself that Amaya was just being practical, that the only reason she had sent him away was because the Elf’s mount couldn’t carry three people at once but her order still left a bitter taste in his mouth. There had been a time, not so long ago, when Amaya would have never left him behind willingly. Now it seemed to happen with increasing frequency.

Once he was up on the mountain Gren couldn’t help but notice the elf’s presence near them, like a shadow. She was always close and her eyes never left Amaya’s face for long. He wondered if that was what people saw when they looked at him: someone so obviously in love he couldn’t hide it. The longing in the Sunfire Elf’s eyes was unmistakable, and when they stepped into the Dragon Queen’s chamber Gren wasn’t surprised to see her standing right next to Amaya instead of him.

With a sinking heart Gren remained a step behind them, keeping his distance. He wasn’t stupid; he knew when he wasn’t wanted – or needed. The signs were all there, clear for everyone to see as Amaya bumped her shoulder against the elf’s. Something big must have happened after the explosion at the Breach because Amaya was rarely this friendly with someone she’d only just met a few days ago. Gren should know: it had taken him weeks of proving his worth after they first met until she accepted him, and he felt more than a little jealous that this elf had somehow managed to gain Amaya’s trust and friendship in a mere matter of days.

It hurt and it made him wonder what he had done wrong back then, and if maybe his bond with Amaya wasn’t as strong and unshakable as he’d always believed it was.

In front of him the Sunfire Elf reached out her hand and Amaya took it, grinning more brightly than Gren had ever seen her. He watched as they shared a smile full of happiness and his heart, barely held together after the ordeal of the last few days, broke into a thousand pieces right then and there without ever making a sound. There was only one way to interpret the gesture and the way they looked at each other and it _hurt_.

Gren forced a smile on his face that was as hollow as he felt. He tried to tell himself that this was a good thing. Amaya deserved to find someone who made her smile like that after everything she had been through, and Katolis would certainly benefit from an alliance with the Sunfire Elves cemented in marriage. King Ezran would approve, Gren had no doubt.

But that small part inside of him, the one that had always hoped that one day Amaya might see him as more than her Voice, more than just her friend, quietly ached and mourned and broke until all that was left were pain and regret and the feeling that some part of him had just died a second time. Gren’s breath caught in his throat and he bit his lip, hard. He needed to get out of here, right now.

With everyone’s attention on the Dragon Queen and her son he silently backed away unnoticed, taking one careful step after another up the stairs and across the ante-chamber until he was outside and felt the breeze of fresh air on his face. It almost felt like he was sleepwalking when he climbed the steps up onto the highest peak. He only realized where he was when he saw the ruins of the day’s battle below him. The former Dragon King seemed small from up high but Gren could still make out his hand, reaching in desperation for the mountain and the precious family it housed.

Reaching for something he will never get to hold close again.

 _Just like me_ , Gren thought. He looked away when his eyes began to well up but it was too late. He had no will left to fight the rising tide of emotions inside of him. His legs trembled and finally gave out. He landed hard on his knees on the stone floor, yet he barely noticed the pain beneath the grief rushing through him like the wind circling the mountain, tearing at his insides and leaving deep and bleeding wounds in their wake. Harsh, painful sobs escaped him, refusing to be stifled, and he buried his head in his knees to mute the sound and hide his tears.

He was a horrible friend. Instead of being happy for Amaya here he was, crying his heart out while she was just a few steps below beaming brighter than the sun with joy. He didn’t want to be like this but he couldn’t help it. Just one day ago he thought he would be the happiest person in the world if he only got to see Amaya’s face one more time. And he had been happy, for a few precious moments he had been almost ridiculously happy – until he saw the way Amaya looked at the Sunfire Elf and realized he had already lost her again.

He’d missed his chance. He had waited too long, waited for her to realize how he felt instead of telling her, and now someone else had captured her heart. They would never be Amaya and Gren again. He would never stand next to her like he used to. His place was now a step behind her, behind _them_ , and Gren had no idea how to be the person Amaya needed him to be when his heart broke with every glance, every smile and every touch she shared with someone else. How could he watch her fall more and more in love and not lose himself in grief? How could he possibly be happy for her when he felt like he was dying inside?

Gren choked out a sob. It wasn’t fair. He didn’t want to lose Amaya. Not again, _never_ again, and not like this. The mere thought of being separated from her made him feel sick. He’d spent weeks in that dungeon worrying for her safety, and then days after the explosion at the Breach believing her to be dead. The last month had been the worst of his life. He couldn’t imagine going back to that, to living without her and not knowing if she was all right.

But he knew that was exactly what would happen if he didn’t learn how to hide his broken heart in front of her. Amaya would notice something was off. She had a sixth sense for that, picking up on body language signs other people would never notice. She would see the slump of his shoulders, his reluctance to meet her eyes and the sadness behind his smile and ask what was wrong. Gren had always worn his heart on his sleeve and until now that had never been a problem, at least not around her. Now things were different. She must never find out that he loved her, that he was jealous of the woman who made her happier than he’d ever had or possibly could. It would break them both and poison their friendship forever.

He couldn’t let that happen. He needed to find a way to push those feelings down and lock them as far away in the back of his mind as he could. He needed to learn how to smile for her, for them, and not let his broken heart show. He needed to remember and remind himself that it was a privilege to be Amaya’s friend, that loving her quietly from afar was a small price to pay for her happiness.

He was prepared to be whatever Amaya needed him to be if it meant he still had a place in her life, no matter how small.

That didn’t make it hurt any less, though. His sleeves were damp with tears and his shoulders still shook with barely suppressed sobs. If Amaya were to see him now there would be no hiding from her. He really needed to get himself back under control, to find a way to come to terms with losing her in all those different ways this past month and what that had done to him. He needed to rebuild himself from scratch and find a mask that would not crumble the moment her gentle gaze rested upon him.

And for that, he needed time, a lot more time than this night had left. A few hours weren’t nearly enough to find the pieces of himself and put them back together again. They weren’t enough to teach himself how to smile without wanting to cry at the same time, and they couldn’t possibly be enough to figure out how to be just Gren without her.

And yet Gren knew he would use every second of every hour this night had left to at least try to stitch up his bleeding heart – both for himself, and for Amaya. He had to find a way to move on for both their sakes or he would lose her completely.

So he took a deep breath, feeling the cold air settle in his lungs, and then another. He opened his eyes. The view in front of him was blurry in the moonlight and he blinked. A sky filled with a million stars was all around him, breathtakingly beautiful, and he wished he could share it with Amaya. She’d always loved the stars.

But now it was the sun that held her heart and Gren could never compete with that. He rested his chin on his folded arms atop his knees and looked out into the starry sea of night. He was just like the stars, he thought – one of many, nothing special. Amaya, on the other hand, was like the moon: extraordinary, graceful and one of a kind. Gren might not have any hope left for his own future but hers looked bright and stunning and so radiant he knew he would do anything to give her that, to make her happy. Tomorrow, he would do the right thing, the hard thing, and step back. He would be her friend and nothing more and make sure she got the life she deserved and never learned about his feelings. For her he would stay silent, and he would learn how to look at the sun and not be blinded by grief.

Tomorrow, he would do all that.

But tonight, Gren stayed up on the mountain top with his arms wrapped around his knees and his tears lost in the sky winds, grieving for everything he lost high above the battlefield that cost so many people their lives today.

In a way it cost him his, too.

  
_You are lost, hope is gone_  
_But you must go on_  
_And do the next right thing_

**Author's Note:**

> For the record: I'm not really sure if the show has confirmed Janai / Amaya as a couple in that last scene. I get the friends to lovers trope but personally, I don't ship them and choose to believe we just saw the beginning of a wonderful friendship instead of a romantic relationship until season 4 comes out and tells us otherwise.  
> It's just, I find Amaya/Gren as a pairing far more interesting because those two characters have history. They've known each other for years and that's something you can build on whereas Amaya and Janai have known each other for a few days, at most. Like, they don't even know who the other person really is since they can't properly communicate with each other yet and Amaya has been Janai's prisoner for most of the time they have spent together. For me, that's not a good foundation for a romantic relationship - but I do get why people ship them and I think the show will be going in that direction, too. Which is okay, though my poor Gremaya heart will be quite sad if (when) that happens.
> 
> So, long story short: I thought I'd write a fanfic post season 3 finale in which Gren jumps to conclusions because of the hand-holding and interprets it the way most of fandom does. Now, I don't think I'm going to write a sequel / second chapter to this since it stands pretty well on its own, but as a Gremaya shipper I do like to think that Amaya finds him at one point and clears some things up (namely her being friends with Janai and nothing more) and just hugs the poor guy until he believes her that he won't lose her anytime soon. :)


End file.
